Who is that old man walking around
Would-be academics draped to his sleeves
Foot speech deliverin’, fine way of givin’ out his expertise
(Watch out, he’s got enemies)
Who is that old man querying Plato, those two are in every frieze
It’s the agora-striding, fine advertisement
For the rigors of Philosophy (That’s Socrates)

Can you the best and brightest give us some answers
That’ll help us save our Public Thing?(Our Republic)
Should we dismantle voting rights? Restrict immigration?
Resume irrigation? (Not sure what that means)
Will health care for no one suffice?
Will THAT quell the oligarchic appetite?
Or can justice and reason be carefully employed
To sew our fraying edges up tight?

(Watch out, he’s turnin’ on his mic…)

SOCRATES: What is the measure of a man?

Is it family? Is it status in your town?
Is it skill at building columns or hinge joints
Is it charity for the poor? Or were just you being cynical?
You have to admit the question is off point
I know some others give that fat orange guy
Kudos for using borrowed money to buy...
(Russian golden showers)
Is it always this hard to get a straight answer out of this guy?

SOCRATES: Have you examined your life?

Can’t you just help us? Tell us what to do?
It’s your city too! Pericles always used to
You’re smart, right? They say that you are
That beard can’t be an accident (it’s been trademarked)

So why all the questions? Mental masterbation?
For Athena’s sake, give us the English translation
That kid over there’s gonna write a book called
“Republic” (in quotes) Maybe I should ask him instead?

SOCRATES: Is an act pious because it’s dear to the gods, or is it dear to the gods because it’s a pious act?

Is kicking your ass a pious act?
The dude’s not listening. He’s like free jazz...
Fun when everybody’s drunk (maybe)
Really great when it’s got some funk
Jesus, what a worthless old man
And HE becomes our most famous citizen?

SOCRATES: But what is “fame,” really?

It’s what got us here, how that moron got elected
His voters weren’t duped, they knew who he was
And he gave them the shit-show they requested

SOCRATES: But how does one really “know”?

(He’s hand-gesturing “know” with quotation marks)

Owl-eyed goddess, it’s time to ignore
This archaic, peripatetic, pickled old bore
We followed the money, hung out the red flag
Ducked into the theater, took two cabs

A “Deep Throat” like him got nothing to say
Enigmation won’t take the problems away
“Back to the game,” “play out the innings”
And other tired sports metaphors for not quitting
The next one I see climb the capitol steps
Without an invite is gettin’ a spear through the chest!
Who else is with me?
Where is the MAN? who will help us out of this jam?

Owl-Eyed Goddess Virgin Muse
Give us your wisdom and we’ll sing for you
Up on the acropolis we’ll offer up a tune
“Liberty Forever” -- is it safe to assume?
“Liberty Forever” -- is it safe to assume?